Sunday, May 31, 2009
-
JOYL|
10:47 PM
Almost half a year gone...
Too many thoughts swirling in my mind...dunno wat to say and dunno where to start...
Ok...shall start from friday...kinda sianz sian sianz!!! No one seems to have time for me...feel so out of the world...i dun belong to anywhere...feels so alone...and this feel worse when i'm PMSing (which is NOW!!!)...yes, I know you are busy...just say u ar busy instead of ignoring me...**angry**...yeah, so see the mood swing there...
Screamed at one of my tuition kids...PMSing here and you there whining...hello, as if i dun know your exams over...u think i enjoy facing your whining...actually, i was more irritated at his attitude in learning...even my fellow colleague were surprised, as i seldom scold that class...
Had dinner with a bunch of siao kia on Saturday...was laughing and giggling non-stop lor...people would have thought we mad...wahahaha...thanks to them...i felt happier...wohoo...
Today, wake up and rush rush for church...the homily today was quite nice...manage to keep awake throughout the homily...people who know me know that i cannot sit still for long...i will fall asleep for sure lor...u must keep me occupied if you wan me to sit at a place for long...LOL...
And today at church, the hug from auntie jen made me realise how deprived i am of physical contact...almost four years of without a relationship, i think my love life is turning into a desert...or maybe it has already dried up...i dun think i miss the love, but i do miss the hugs and holding hands...it makes u feel special...but seriously, i beginning to believe that i have committment phobia...i dun have the confidence that my relationship can be as blissful as the married couples around me...i have the fear that my relationship will fail like the people around me...ok, with no confidence and lots of fear what can i do...**sigh**...being a Leo doesn't help either, i am too rational...yeah...too rational for words...i will (oh yes, i did it before) end a relationship if i know it is not going anywhere...it is better to shorten the pain than to sink into it...my best friend keep telling me cuz i had not found the right one...even my boss say that after reading my palms...LOL...being single means u have more time for friends...but that doesn't mean ur friends have time for you lor...cuz who have time for you when thay are attached...if i had not occupied myself with work, i think i will turn into a geek sooner or later...
Enough of the random, mad, nonsensical rantings of mine...maybe this started cuz people recently keep asking me to find a bf...maybe this started cuz aunt jen's hug today made me miss having that someone special...maybe this started cuz i'm simply PMSing...LOL...
Happy thoughts:
- Voilin lesson on Weds...yeah...loving it more and more...
- Ktv in june...hopefully my best fren dun fly aeroplane...
- Reading my comics...keep me occupied on trips in public transport...
- Swimming every Mon or Wed...trying to keep fit...
- Uploaded all my photos...finally...
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